In my Tantric healing practice, the most common sexual dysfunction that men come to me with is premature ejaculation. Luckily it is also the easiest problem to correct.
“Premature ejaculation is ejaculation that occurs shortly after penetration and before the person wishes. Because this can create dissatisfaction in both partners, it can create tension and anxiety that can, in turn, worsen the condition. Causes may include anxiety, depression, and more.” – WebMD
Sociologist Edward Laumann, PhD, after studying the information collected by the National Health and Social Life Survey, estimated that a third of American men say they ejaculate too soon. They want to last longer during sex and to prolong the enjoyment for themselves and their partners.
Possible premature ejaculation triggers:
- New partner.
- Anxiety, guilt, or depression.
- Fear of being caught masturbating or having sex.
- Tight PC muscle.
- Masturbation habits: high intensity masturbation may pattern the brain for quick orgasm.
- If it has been a long time since the last ejaculation.
- Too much sexual energy stuck in the groin area.
Ways to solve premature ejaculation
With the assistance of a tantric massage therapist:
Find a tantric massage therapist who is experienced with releasing sexual tension from the genital area (using a particular pressure point method) and is able to transfer your sexual energy to other areas of your body is the fastest way to overcome premature ejaculation, ultimately helping you attain a full body orgasm instead of just having a quick genital orgasm.
What you can do on your own:
Learn different relaxation techniques such as yoga and meditation to be able to calm your body and mind more easily.
Relaxing the pelvic floor (PC) muscles:
A good way to balance and relax the pelvic floor (PC muscles) is called: Reverse Kegels.
To get a feeling of how it feels; while urinating, concentrate on sending more pressure to the penis so that you urinate quicker.
Roll up a towel and sit on it with your pelvic floor muscles pushing the towel. Breathe through your abdomen rather than just with your chest. At the end of your inhalation contract your pelvic floor muscle a little, then exhale and focus on relaxing your pelvic floor muscle. Breathe down into it, not forcing it, but allowing it to expand.
Reverse Kegel exercises may take time to master as it requires advanced control of the muscles of your pelvic floor. It's important to feel generally calm and relaxed when you start so that there is no tension or stress built up in the area. Do it in the morning 10 times and in the evening 10 times.
With a partner's assistance:
Make sure to choose an open minded and understanding partner and be willing to talk about your issues openly. Most women are very understanding and like to help.
Make sure you're in a quiet environment where you won't be distracted. Give each other a beautiful, slow sensual massage, but avoid the genital area at first. Do this for at least an hour.
Ask your partner to do soft and slow strokes when you're prepared for her to touch the genital region. Tell her that you will signal her when you are getting close to ejaculation and she will stop stroking you.
While you are calming down, she can massage other areas of your body, then resume with slow soft strokes. Your body will eventually get used to being touched this way and you're not going to have the desire to ejaculate.
When you decide to have sex, also go really slowly. Avoid fast and hard movements, stop as you are getting close to ejaculation. You can even remove your penis from her vagina to calm down and offer her enjoyment. Eventually you will be able to play like this for hours if you like.