A man’s viewpoint. Part one – what exactly are we talking about?

What is a lingam massage?

“Lingam” is a Sanskrit word used in tantra for the “penis”.  In English, we have many ‘names’ for penis. A positive aspect of using the tantric word “lingam” is that it is less well known and therefore has few if any connotations or associations, which is refreshing as this kind of body therapy is about a new kind of relationship with that part of ourselves.

So, a lingam massage is a massage of the lingam, but that statement by itself might be misleading. In particular, it is important to understand that the purpose of the lingam massage is to avoid ejaculation, not achieve it!  That may sound strange if you know nothing about Tantra, but there is a very good reason for such approach - I will tell more about it in the second part of my story.  So, if you have clicked on this site looking for an ejaculatory experience, this is not the place.  Women (or men) who offer lingam massage on this site are not providing that sort of gratification.  They interact with you as a sexual (tantric) healers, not sex workers; the difference is as distinct as between drug counsellors and drug dealers.

It is also important to know what happens before the lingam is touched. In tantric healing therapy this usually involves a whole-body massage, which is quite extensive and absolutely needed for the right experience.


Prostate massage as a part of lingam massage.

Typically, the lingam massage also includes the prostrate massage, which involves a finger penetration of the anus by the therapist.  Some heterosexual men are concerned this means they are gay or becoming so, but this part of the massage is not about your sexual orientation - heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual or transsexual. 

Tantra says that unresolved emotional issues reside as an energy in the body, and could be released by pressure applied in those areas.  Therefore, prostate massage can touch the edge of sharp physical pain and lead to strong emotional releases of stored trauma. Sometimes that can be accompanied by a memory or a new-found memory of some event.  Eventually, as these traumatic stores are emptied, an increasing pleasure is found in what once was a source of discomfort or pain.  Then the prostrate massage becomes a total pleasure and expansion of sexual potential and experience.

However, just as with every aspect of this kind of bodywork, if you don’t want to receive a prostate massage, there is no need to do so.  The #metoo movement has made the world more aware of issues of consent, and consent is as important for men’s experience as for women.

You might have a reasonable question - why so much trauma gets located in the prostate?  I personally don’t know the answer, but I do believe that it is the case. To me, it is not some kind of weird preoccupation of Tantra, but a reflection of what I have found in practice. 

In life, we often know something before we understand why it is so.  At a certain period in history people did not know why eclipses of the moon or sun occurred but that lack of knowledge did not stop them occurring or being observed.

Why is it important to understand?

These things need to be set out clearly before covering the benefits of lingam massage, because a correct understanding of the lingam massage, and prostate massage in particularly, is highly important to be able to reap the gains to be found through the tantric healing process.

As with the yoni massage of women, there is one other significant correspondence.  This work may be around sexual issues and sexual dysfunctions, but is not necessarily – one’s trauma is one’s trauma, and can be about any area of life or experience.

In the second part of my blog about lingam massage I will discuss its benefits from the perspective of my personal reflection – how I have gained some of those while others I am yet to experience. Tantric healing is an effective therapy, but not all results can be achieved in one session.